Comments For Classmates
Katelyn Egger:
I love the line 'blue is the way a wanderer connects with the world.' I like how you integrated a wanderer into your poem. Lovely job!
I relate to the part about books with bent pages, and the phrase "just one more page". I always end up reading way too late!
I liked how you approached the character and this scene, showing this as him stepping away from life, examining where he is.
This is such a sweet poem, really down to earth. It was very deep, but very real and flowed really nicely.
I think this proposes an interesting story. Overall, it was really charming and I believe the last lines using Fairytale were absolutely apt for an perfect ending. If this was a story, you have me hooked so far. Keep writing!
I looooovvveeed the last few lines. "Yellow is kindness, yellow is safe" I thought that was a perfect way to end it and I honestly enjoyed it so much. Keep it up!
In my mind I could picture a scene where some friends are sitting on a beach, listening to music in the far off distance. I don't know if that's what you meant, but if it was it was really spot on. Good job!
The imagery and descriptive skills in this poem are really just a 10/10. I can see the meadow and fields in my mind, you describe a fantastic scene. I especially liked how you reached out to include the reader.
Abi:
I relate to the line referring to your parents. I loved how you used the waters of life metaphor because it couldn't be more true. Parents can be such a huge help in an anxiety-filled life.
I liked that you chose gray, and I also love how you began 'gray' by using it as an adjective for objects in a few lines. I especially loved "The gray rock is a source of endless history that no one may ever hear". Overall, I really enjoyed this piece.
Interesting, and very well written. I thought how you described the character's aching body was extremely put together, making for a very vivid picture in the reader's mind. You also started with a good conflict, which in fiction is a win! It caught my attention as a reader.
OOoooooooh, I loved how you described crisp blue. "The eyes twinkled with hope", just goosebumps effect. Keep it up!
I liked that you described it as a concert, especially as I was thinking of the title the entire time and of the song from High School Musical 3. So your descriptive images of a concert only added to my chanting in my head, just a little funny story. Great job! I especially liked the line "They move across the stage, absorbing the energy radiating off the sea of fans".
I thought the beginning line, "My fingers traced the edges of the flower petals, the deep red was ominous yet inviting". It paints a scene with words and catches my attention.
I adored the lines, "Desperately wanting to become the Aviatrix that the dove was wanting more, more than the constant audience and consistent feeding schedules however, dreams were nothing more than a wanderlust filled idea".
"Night skies filled with dazzling stars, Time spent with loved ones, Effortless chatter and laughter" really resonated with me. Great use of the acrostic!
Paige:
I loved the ending! I thought it was especially sweet and lovely, the way you used a lagoon and the last line. Overall, this piece really resonated with my style of writing, and I loved reading this.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I loved this piece so much. I sincerely believe if you threw a character in here It'd feel like something I'd read as a book. Anyway, I loved how you described the flowers. I myself have used that metaphor before but you really took it and ran with it. Fantastic job!
I loved the line about writing in the quiet hours of the night, and all the other details in this piece. I enjoyed it so much!
I loved this a lot, I liked how you described the roses of course, (The superstars of the poem), and pulled a dog into the narrative. Great descriptive writing!
I loved the way you described the blue as honest, and the 'separated from the night' line.
I love the description of the forest here, in fact I wanted to keep reading. I thought the way you incorporated birds and owls into this, describing them and hardly saying their name, was brilliant. Great job!
I feel like this was a commander speaking to a soldier or legion, at least that's how I pictured it in my mind. I thought the voice in this really carried, great job!
I love the line 'blue is the way a wanderer connects with the world.' I like how you integrated a wanderer into your poem. Lovely job!
I relate to the part about books with bent pages, and the phrase "just one more page". I always end up reading way too late!
I liked how you approached the character and this scene, showing this as him stepping away from life, examining where he is.
This is such a sweet poem, really down to earth. It was very deep, but very real and flowed really nicely.
I think this proposes an interesting story. Overall, it was really charming and I believe the last lines using Fairytale were absolutely apt for an perfect ending. If this was a story, you have me hooked so far. Keep writing!
I looooovvveeed the last few lines. "Yellow is kindness, yellow is safe" I thought that was a perfect way to end it and I honestly enjoyed it so much. Keep it up!
In my mind I could picture a scene where some friends are sitting on a beach, listening to music in the far off distance. I don't know if that's what you meant, but if it was it was really spot on. Good job!
The imagery and descriptive skills in this poem are really just a 10/10. I can see the meadow and fields in my mind, you describe a fantastic scene. I especially liked how you reached out to include the reader.
Abi:
I relate to the line referring to your parents. I loved how you used the waters of life metaphor because it couldn't be more true. Parents can be such a huge help in an anxiety-filled life.
I liked that you chose gray, and I also love how you began 'gray' by using it as an adjective for objects in a few lines. I especially loved "The gray rock is a source of endless history that no one may ever hear". Overall, I really enjoyed this piece.
Interesting, and very well written. I thought how you described the character's aching body was extremely put together, making for a very vivid picture in the reader's mind. You also started with a good conflict, which in fiction is a win! It caught my attention as a reader.
OOoooooooh, I loved how you described crisp blue. "The eyes twinkled with hope", just goosebumps effect. Keep it up!
I liked that you described it as a concert, especially as I was thinking of the title the entire time and of the song from High School Musical 3. So your descriptive images of a concert only added to my chanting in my head, just a little funny story. Great job! I especially liked the line "They move across the stage, absorbing the energy radiating off the sea of fans".
I thought the beginning line, "My fingers traced the edges of the flower petals, the deep red was ominous yet inviting". It paints a scene with words and catches my attention.
I adored the lines, "Desperately wanting to become the Aviatrix that the dove was wanting more, more than the constant audience and consistent feeding schedules however, dreams were nothing more than a wanderlust filled idea".
"Night skies filled with dazzling stars, Time spent with loved ones, Effortless chatter and laughter" really resonated with me. Great use of the acrostic!
Paige:
I loved the ending! I thought it was especially sweet and lovely, the way you used a lagoon and the last line. Overall, this piece really resonated with my style of writing, and I loved reading this.
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I loved this piece so much. I sincerely believe if you threw a character in here It'd feel like something I'd read as a book. Anyway, I loved how you described the flowers. I myself have used that metaphor before but you really took it and ran with it. Fantastic job!
I loved the line about writing in the quiet hours of the night, and all the other details in this piece. I enjoyed it so much!
I loved this a lot, I liked how you described the roses of course, (The superstars of the poem), and pulled a dog into the narrative. Great descriptive writing!
I loved the way you described the blue as honest, and the 'separated from the night' line.
I love the description of the forest here, in fact I wanted to keep reading. I thought the way you incorporated birds and owls into this, describing them and hardly saying their name, was brilliant. Great job!
I feel like this was a commander speaking to a soldier or legion, at least that's how I pictured it in my mind. I thought the voice in this really carried, great job!
Comments
Post a Comment